Mr. President! Let me begin this Cupboard assembly by thanking you for hanging the moon and organizing the nation, and the universe, in such an ideal means. The moon appears to be like nice the place you place it. Every little thing you contact turns to gold, until you would like it to show to brass.
Now that now we have allotted with the pleasantries, I do have a tiny query: Are you aware that you’re additionally allowed to fireplace males? Actually, you might be! Males are allowed to depart the Cupboard too.
As one of many final remaining ladies on this Cupboard, I felt compelled to ask. Not for me, after all. For my sisters!
I actually can’t consider a worse place to have a feminist awakening than as a member of Donald Trump’s Cupboard, watching the departures of Pam Bondi however not Kash Patel, and Kristi Noem however not Pete Hegseth, and Lori Chavez-DeRemer however not Robert F. Kennedy Jr. In fact, that isn’t what that is. I might sooner die than have a feminist awakening. Clearly, I’m conscious of the patriarchy, however I’ve at all times believed that I may make it work for me, personally, if I simply used the fitting hair merchandise and smiled extra.
I’m simply questioning: Do I’ve a future right here? I’m doing every part that everybody else is doing. I’ve a face. I’ve a jet. I’ve incompetence. I bathe the president with reward at each Cupboard assembly. (See above.) However the place is the ironclad job safety, the sense that, it doesn’t matter what I do, I’m nonetheless a vital a part of the crew? Ought to I be ingesting extra? Snorkeling extra? Each?
I’ll say I assumed that it will be totally different after I agreed to serve. I assumed, Properly, this man has no respect for girls. However he additionally has no respect for any kind of particular person! I can construct on that. “Put me in, Coach,” I mentioned then.
Now there are simply 4 of us left. I actually thought that Tulsi’s willingness to conduct purges, peddle conspiracies, and forged doubt on the integrity of the final election would have endeared her to you extra. However I additionally thought that about Pam.
Hear, should you have been assembling a Cupboard purely on potential, none of us can be right here. That’s the nice factor bringing all of us right here at present: Whether or not we’re male or feminine, previous or younger, white or nonwhite, the one factor that binds us is our shared absence of advantage.
But when I have been eliminating individuals for doing a nasty job, I will surely decide both the man who’s bringing again measles or the man who’s bringing again the flu—two distinct guys, every of whom is placing tens of millions of lives at stake. When you spun me round (please don’t spin me round; my hair shouldn’t be outfitted) on this room and I pointed at random, I might hit somebody deserving of being fired. Or a chair. Or one in every of a number of fashions of a ballroom or an arch.
I do know you could have mentioned, “No scalps.” Are you working below the misapprehension that ladies don’t have scalps? This looks like the form of factor you may imagine. I don’t know anymore.
I’m no feminist. Clearly. I’m within the Trump Cupboard. However that is the form of factor that makes me surprise about his outlook on the world! Not that we’re attempting to record contraception as an environmentally noxious substance. Not the elevated stage of joking-but-not-joking about eradicating our proper to vote, or having households all vote collectively below the person’s steering. I do know Pete Hegseth’s pastor is aware of what I’m speaking about!
I’m detached to all of that. I’m speaking about my very own private profession right here, and I do need to surprise should you’re holding the incompetent ladies in your Cupboard to the identical normal because the incompetent males. Is that this some form of Ladies and Kids First scenario? Are you actually going to attend for all of us to depart earlier than anybody else is allowed to go?
I assume I simply thought I might be safer right here—that if I joined up, they wouldn’t come for me. I’m not speculated to be the one below the bus. I’m speculated to be the one throwing different ladies there.
